Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D.  Age Activated Attention
Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.  As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.  I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk
mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.  So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.  But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.  I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.  My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk, where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.  I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I
realize the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.  As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.  I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.  I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.  I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water, and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.  I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so
I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.  I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.  So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.  Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The driveway is flooded,
The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
There is still only one check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled, because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I have sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!